On Being an Introvert

I’ve exhibited introverted tendencies my entire life. I’ve always been shy and rather uncomfortable around other people, especially large groups. 

Making friends in childhood was tough. I managed it somehow, and I’m sure it was because those friends were introverts, too. We’d have sleepovers and just…hang out at home. Sometimes we’d go to movies, but most of the time, we’d just like to be by ourselves. 

For me, that never really changed. I spent a lot of my childhood at the library in my hometown. I absolutely loved being alone there with books. And I guess that has never changed, either, now that I think about it!

Being around other people, going to social events — it’s always been a struggle. I love concerts, and I’ll go to them often, but not without a certain level of anxiety. The same with other gatherings. Even big family things make me feel anxious. 

I don’t know. It’s a strange thing to live with — the want to leave my apartment, but the want to not have to deal with people. I think the pandemic has made everything worse for me. 

I’d rather be home with my puppies and a good book. I know I’m not the only person who feels this way, but sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. 

I don’t know. Life is a strange thing.