🚨 Living Scared

B and I have been together for a little over six years. We've been living together for three. At one point, I loved him. I really did. But I'm not so sure I do anymore.

I am living scared.
B has a short fuse, little patience, and a penchant for flying off the handle at the slightest of things. These are occurrences that any regular person would just take in stride and deal with in a manner that doesn't involve yelling and storming around like a toddler having a tantrum.

Examples?

• If my puppy, who is five months old, bites him while playing, B swats him, yells, then throws him across the couch. When I comfort the puppy, who is obviously scared, I'm berated and told that I don't know how to discipline my dogs.
• If B is playing video games and can't do something, whether it's beat a boss/level or can't figure out where he needs to go in the fame, he gets angry and squeezes the controller really hard. He yells at the game.
• If he's walking through the apartment and knocks something off the counter or if a box falls over that's waiting to be recycled, he picks it up and slams it back where it was.

And this is just a small look into these situations that scare me to my core. Any and every little thing sets him off.

Does he care that his behavior scares me? Absolutely not. I can't even have a civil conversation with him about any of this because he flies off the handle.

He's never hit me, but I'm afraid he eventually might when he overreacts to the smallest of things like this. I don't have words for what it feels like to have to choose my words carefully or try to organize the living space so things won't tip over. I walk on eggshells every day because I never know when something I say or do will set him off. 

I don't want to live like this. I don't want to have to live in fear. Life is too short for this kind of thing.

And the worst part of this is that I'm afraid of what will happen if I tell him I want to leave. I'm so fearful that I'm thinking about having my dad be nearby in case things go badly.

But I can't even leave now because 1) I have nowhere to go with my two dogs, and 2) My lease with him isn't up until the end of August.

Thankfully, B's brother M is going to talk with him this next week. M is the complete opposite of B, and I very much appreciate his willingness to help me with this.

I'm hoping for the best.